May Getaway 2004
Land of Ten Million Speed Bumps!
    By Jim Bean

 I dont understand or know how, but Jim & Laurie Allshouse pulled off another weekend of unbelievable weather, especially for May in Oklahoma, and some wonderful riding on the Ft. Cobb May Get-A-Way. To start with, 18 people arrived Friday to open the activities, after setting up camp, some went on a short ride, then we all car pooled off to the Deckhouse restaurant (recommended by Larry Willrath) for dinner. As usual I had way too much to eat with a salad, KC Steak, baked potato and bread. Everyone fills up, sit a short spell to let dinner settle, then we head back to camp. Gather up the chairs and sit around the fire Johnnie Lerma has constructed for the evenings relaxations and conversations, then off to bed for some good sleeping with the 40 degree temperatures overnight.

Saturday morning arrives to the call of 4 or 5 Mocking birds doing their thing, happens tomorrow night they will be on the endangered species list. GW Key and Brian Ratliff fire up the coffee around 6:00 AM and we start on another wonderful camping breakfast, hammer down way to many eggs, sausage, a bowl of oatmeal and many cups of coffee. After making several trips to the restroom facilities to get rid of that coffee, its time to get the biking clothes on and load all the necessary junk on the bike for our trip to Hinton. 40 riders gather for the introductions, passing out of maps, last minute instructions and words of wisdom from Jim Allshouse. Now those that were not there you need to be aware how much effort is required to put these tours on, Jim & Laurie spent two weekends, lots of miles driving and visiting the different towns looking for eating places planning this tour. I hear that on driving the various roads they did realize that there were some hills and rough places, but Jim explained that they would not be that bad on a bike, and the Viagra pills would handle the hills Laurie would have to get over. The story from Jim is that he gives Laurie half a pill and thats why she rides off so fast at the start of every ride. Wonder if thats true, its not that I dont trust Jim, its that I just dont trust him, been around him too long.

The first 6 miles over to Albert went easy, allowing everyone to warm up, tackle a few small hills and regroup at the local C-Store, and of course Esther had to go inside to get directions as she calls it (Potty Princess strikes early). A couple of more miles and then the hills arrive, and naturally there is the fist rabid, drooling BIG dog waiting for the attack at the bottom of a hill, yell, squirt Gatorade, and sprint up the hill till I die. We motor on down the road to Binger and stop for Esther again (only been 6 miles). On to Lookeba, 5 miles north on highway 281 with the best shoulder I have ever ridden on, and guest what, time for another Esther directions break at the local C-Store. I inform Esther that they dont have directions in that store, so she gets back on her bike, asks why others are going in the store, I tell her they are going to the restroom, she gives me one of those looks and back in she goes. Now saddle up again and make a right turn through town on the block long Main Street with some locals staring at the fool on a bike, and down across a small creek. Almost missed the bridge as the approach was so rough I had blurred vision from the patch on patch road, must have been enough asphalt on that 20 feet of road to pave a mile of smooth road. Cover the next mile like I was shot out of a gun without a firing pin or powder and arrive at the base of Mount Everest on a one-lane road (cars passing had to get a wheel in the weeds). Half way up and meet a car with one on my back door, decide that it is best to stand up, make a major effort to get over the top and out of the way. Flash by a couple of riders stopped on the side and the car behind goes around, honks his horn and gives me a big thumbs up, man that made my day, look out Lance. Several of us regroup at the next corner and attempt to make the 10 or 12 mile run up to Hinton together; somewhere we lost Esther, Oh! That means no stopping every 6 miles!

At the mornings briefing by Jim he passed on that there were several wood bridges with bad crossings and it would be best to walk them. After seeing someone crash on such a bridge, trust me, that was my plan of attack. We top this one hill, look across the valley and cant see in the bottom for the curves and trees, ride down at 35 mph, grab the brakes and crawl to a 5 mph pace to approach where we thought a bridge would be. Well, being my normal luck, no wood bridge, but a nice concrete one at the bottom of LAlpe DHuez and its 13% grade. This thing has 3 different grades with maybe 50 foot flat spots between. Hit the first steep part so slow that I can get my spin up nor stand up and mash my 39-25 gear to go over 3 mph, decide to walk to the next flat, John Hamlin goes flying by at 4 mph, get back on and pass John, who sounds like a freight train huffing & puffing. Make it up without passing out, lungs still intact and the heart not stopping, pull over at the top and wait for John to pedal his new 50 pound touring bike up. We make it up and down the next several miles of hills, enjoy the scenic views, look for a good spot for a potty break (darn, Esther, I think its contagious) and play dodge em on the rough road to arrive on highway 37, which seems like a sheet of glass after the last section. Cruise into Hinton in the big chain ring and look for the restaurant for a big old cheeseburger with fries and find my sun screen, places are feeling on the warm side.

Sit down at a table, order up that burger, Wilton Berry, Brian Ratliff, Mike Britten, John Hamlin and myself see who can consume their burger and fries first (good move, we only got 33 miles back to Ft. Cobb). Make a quick trip to a C-store for water and Gatorade, another potty break then we roam off to the west of Hinton like the wagon trains of the passed riding into the sunset (note keyword ROAM). Travel 8 or 9 miles with several turns and the roughest chip & seal I have every seen, kind of like the famous Paris Roubaix one day classic were you hunt for the smoothest part of the road, even felt like those cobble stones. This just about beats everyone up physically so a regroup was in order at a turn to go south, roll to a stop and there is Trudy Morgan and John Wente trying to figure out which way to go. John is looking at his map and looking blank, as he is off 4 miles thinking we are at the next turn, Trudy thinks we need to go straight as that is south, we finally get Trudy convinced that south is to our left, even though she refuses to look at my compass, and Brian is pointing up at the direction of the sun. Make the run south 4 miles into a light head wind taking turns pulling, while once again trying to locate the smoothest least pothole/patched infested parts, make a left, over to Sickles, then right heading south again and roll onto some very smooth road for a change. Arrive at highway 152, regroup and everyone decides that we need to stay together because of the traffic and narrow shoulder, blast the 2 miles across to highway 146, climb the long grade like one of those hill climbers in the Tour de France and back down the pace for the last 12 miles in.
We regroup at Albert and several decide it is best to visit the C-store restroom, well of course Brian, John Hamlin and myself being the tuff guys think this is not necessary, and guest what, a mile down the rode and we are about to float away. Take a short cut back to the lake area down a nice road till we get to the new bridge with gravel 3 inches deep on each end, everyone plows through, no one falls, then turn into the camping area and the sprint is on after 66 miles for the first one to the bathroom.

Wow, managed to finish feeling pretty good, find my lawn chair, something to drink and a couple of oatmeal/raisin cookies and relax for awhile before hitting the showers and pickup on all the stories of the day. Best one was Trudy fell over in front of a big truck somewhere, seems she was trying to stop, unclipped the wrong foot and down she went, saw the truck coming and was worried it was going to hit her bike. With the other foot still clipped in, she lifted it over her body and tossed it into the weeds. The truck driver got out and asked if she was OK, all she could do was lay there and laugh, possible brain damage or maybe a blond thing! Trudy keeps falling over and we are going to take up a collection for some training wheels.

Another OBS tradition finally arrives at 7:00, the pot luck dinner, load the plate up and once again consume way too much. Beef Brisket, Pork Loin, Beef and Chicken Hot Tamales, Jims Oil Field beans and all the fixins with deserts for and army. Watch Lerma build another campfire and relax for the rest of the evening, laughing about todays adventures. Around 9:00 the party starts to break up for bed, hope those birds done show up.

Sunday opens at 6:00 AM with Brian making coffee, have a snack bar, find the bike and clothes and prepare for another fun filled ride to breakfast in Anadarko. 28 riders venture off at 8:00 AM on the road through Trudys home of Ft. Cobb, on some nice smooth roads. Pass Laurie, who was off the front, in the wind by herself, ask how she doing, reply, THE VIAGRA PILL HAS QUIT. Now at the morning briefing, Jim Allshouse gives us the song and dance about how easy this route is, well knowing Jim, I dont trust him (See statement above), and sure enough, 8 miles in and the first of three hills grow right in front of us. Get through that and we find a regrouping point on the way south. The group resumes and right off there is a mile long grade that breaks up the pack, followed by a couple of short, but steep piles of dirt, according to Jim (kind a like a big hill to me). Turn back east on some wonderful roads, cruise through the town of Flat Top (Upper Anadarko according to John Wente), sail into and all the way through Anadarko to the restaurant, and try to find a place to park all the bikes. Get inside and Suzan Cannon has arranged for a private room for of us, our own servers and coffee pots. Make my way to the buffet line, load up with the stuff and order some eggs, grab a cup of coffee and pack that food in again, after mopping up all the water glasses I knocked over in GWs lap. We all carry on during breakfast about the ride back, and who will volunteer to go get a car to pick us up. Seems as if the rough road yesterday is getting to a few people, Brian Ratliff has two pair of bike shorts on for the extra padding.

Mount back up and off we go back to the lake camping area. Just passed Flat Top with short downhill and a very rough turn at the bottom, I start yelling about the holes on approach, and sure enough I smack the rear wheel in one with a loud bang. Ride a short ways to check out every thing, seems OK, get back on the gas and catch up with the group. Make the turn north and coast down that mile grade to the regroup point and notice my rear brake dragging. Do the look over and find a spoke about to fall out, and the wheel is wobbling, adjust that out, mount back up, ride off and feel a thumping on the rear wheel. Decide I need to take it easy, especially on the steep down hills, dont need to hit a hole, break the wheel and crash, had enough of that crashing stuff. Brian sets of to get his vehicle and will come back to pick me up as John Hamlin and I slowly ride on towards Ft. Cobb. Brain makes it back we us about three miles from the camp; we load up the bike and on the way back passing each rider we honk, wave and shout at them to get out of the road, dad gum bikers, man was it fun to be on the other end of the road rage harassment thing. Another 43 miles under the tires, and the sadness hits, yet another OBS tour is over.

Back at camp we all procrastinate about loading all that stuff up and going home. Change the clothes and cram it all in the car, drive back to the house, unload the dirty clothes and pile the rest up in the garage waiting for the FALL FLING -- September 25-26, 2004. If you have not been on any OBS tours you had best come to Okmulgee to enjoy all this fun!!!

BETTER SEE YOU THERE!
 

Another take on May Getaway '04 with many pictures.

Oklahoma Bicycle Society: May Getaway 2004 
created by John Wente
last modified: February 17, 2007
URL: http://www.OklahomaBicycleSociety.com