Well, all you riders who did not come to the Tour De Trees missed another typical OBS ride. Notice I didn’t say it was great. Well, it was fun. On second thought, it was great being there with good friends and riding.

With rain predicted all week at 100%, I don’t blame all the no-shows, but you did miss a lot of fun. Friday, nine of us adventurous (or stupid, depending on your point of view), gathered at the campgrounds for dinner at 6:00 pm. We arrived and had our camping area all set up and started cooking dinner when the heavy mist started. But with Moni Neville’s great job of tarp hanging, there was a nice dry cooking and dining facility. Then the wet stuff stopped and a large campfire was built by all hands with Jerry Neville trying to singe off his eyebrows when he threw the match on the oil soaked logs. The fire was soon circled with chairs and the group began passing around the normal wonderful stories and jokes. Around 10:00 pm the group starts heading out to bed, with our usual camp caricature, Rolf Jacobi, starting up his inflatable bed with that high pitch blower (I think it might be a hair dryer) while drinking some kind of "expensive" $8.00 a gallon screw-top bottle of wine. Well, as you can see, all did not go right. The mattress had a hole in it, which Rolf blamed on me at the Spring Fling back in April (he did apologize). Finally he drags out his spare, airs it up and life returns to slumber land.

Saturday morning shows its self with gray overcast skies, but no rain, so after some hot coffee and breakfast we all watch Jerry change seats and pedals as he had conned Jana Johnston and Laurie "Tabasco Queen" Allshouse into riding the Neville triple the night before. After everyone’s input and comments, we ride off to Fountainhead lodge for the official start. The group gathers for some pictures and Moni’s last minute instructions and 26 "BRAVE" (again stupid, depending on your point of view) riders take off on another great adventure. As you can guess, it starts raining and everyone begins scratching their heads wondering if this is a good move. About two miles down the road Moni says she is turning back, with big exclamation points to Jim Allshouse and me, but we don’t bite for the return offer. Jerry is informed of the news and he cannot believe it and thinks we are joking until some others pass on the same news. The group of riders begin to string out in the rain and the Neville Triple disappears in the distance. Meanwhile, back at camp my wife Marsha is waiting until 9:30 to see if I return, as I hate the rain slick roads, then start on her sag wagon duties. When, low and behold, Moni shows up. These two decide to venture out in my car to see what is going on in the world and find the rain-drenched riders.

Did I Mention it was Raining!

Jim and several others are with me when I discover a flat on the rear. Jim and I stop to fix it, with Jim off watering the trees, while I put in a new tube. Well, my small hand pump breaks and Jim pulls out his. Just about aired the tire up when the handle comes off and Jim’s stabs the pump shaft in his finger. After some Band-Aids and a comment about a bloody good job, we commence to try and chase down the group. Being the wannabe racers we are, we catch them at a convenience store lounging around waiting for us. Now the sun is out, and off with the rain gear and some normal fun riding. All of the 23 riders who had made it this far, decide to go on the 62-mile route but me. The Neville Triple blasts away down a hill. I turn off on the 50-mile route as my legs don’t feel like I can make the longer distance. So here I am on the short cut thinking it is flat. WRONG! Nothing but up and down for 5 miles. Only good thing about that lonely road was the laugh at the expense of two German Shepard dogs that forgot about the 20-foot chains attached to them. Here I am, having to stand up on the pedals to get up this hill when on my right I hear this barking and here they come at full bore. Man, did they rebound at the end. Hope they didn’t break their necks!

Did I Mention the Sun was Out A Little Bit!

Arrive at the Lake Eufaula Dam where the two routes come back together and pull over in a good parking area to wait for the 62-milers to arrive. Lean my bike on the road railing and commence to have a long, loud laugh. On the drive down my wife says that she wants some rocks to place around the trees in our front yard. She heard that most of them for sale in Oklahoma City came from the Lake Eufaula area and could we pick up a few? I looked over that rail and there they are, thousands of them. Sure, just pick up two hundred pounds and strap them to my bike. I finally quit laughing and having waited 15 minutes, decide to pedal on to the lunch stop for barbeque and peach cobbler (which the caf didn’t make).

Did I Mention that the Sun had Disappeared!

Just as I get off the bike at Jay Zee’s Cafe the rain starts and Moni and Marsha show up. They tell me that everyone else is being poured upon, then join me in eating as others straggle in looking drenched. The eats are over and it’s 20 miles west on the State Highway 9 to Eufaula and a stop at Braums. Put the rain gear back on and, just as we are about to ride off, Rolf shows up with his yellow jersey, tights and rain gear with the hood up looking like "Big Bird" (wonder if he can flap his arms and fly). Jim Allshouse, myself and several others join up for the run. Along the way are many bars, one with a "Welcome Bikers" sign, but we don’t think the place looks like a good stop for our choice of clothing, because the other bikes there have motors. One quarter of the way to Eufaula and the Neville Triple sails by with tons of wheel spray in our face, and Jana yelling "try to hang on". Three quarters of the way and the rain is coming down harder, a nice Texaco convenience store with a big flag hanging straight down looks inviting. Charge into the store and make a beeline to the restroom. I’m about to close the door and Jim starts laughing and asks if I like the Women’s room better than the Men’s. OOPS! Well, the door was open and it did look nice and clean (must have had rain all over my glasses). Having that great biking luck after the restroom episode and refuel break we notice that the flag begins to stand straight out to the south, now guess which way the campgrounds are from Eufaula!

Did I Mention it was Raining!

Finally we get back on the road, I know that a very large and steep hill is just one mile from the Braums and I want to have my legs warmed up, so setting the pace I have a line of riders behind. Being the leader, I keep checking over my shoulder, and yes I see someone there. Just a quarter mile from the bottom of the hill is a turn to the northwest. Now I finally see that no one is on my wheel and what I was seeing was the corner of my camelback over my shoulder. Worked that hill with my heart rate at 172 and thinking don’t blow up. The first one over the top and raised my arms like winning the Tour De France (man did I get some mountain points, dropped everyone like a brick. Yeah, right, keep dreaming). Now cruise NORTH TO BRAUMS into that head wind, and that dad gum Neville Triple goes by so fast the north wind stops and Jana is making another comment.

Did I mention it was Raining!

Everyone arrives and we enjoy the nice cold ice cream (hot fudge sundae, good choice). Another restroom stop and a chance to dry out. Well here I am, no money and Moni and Marsha returned to camp to get Moni’s van in case anyone needs to sag back, then stopped to shop at a place called Boy Howdy Dollar Store down the street for tent stakes and more tarps (no tarps, no stakes just screw drivers?). They did show up with some money so I got my HOT (note key word hot) Sundae. Jim and I decide that we have sat way too long and off we venture through Eufaula and north up State Highway 69 to the finish. But the rain gets heavier and my fingers and feet are cold. Then my "good buddy" Jim says, "Look at the temperature on the bank sign, a nice 53 degrees." You guessed it. Now I am really cold. We discuss that if one of the gals comes along we might sag in. First Moni goes by shouting at us something we couldn’t understand (must have been in German) and off she goes. Then Marsha goes by hauling butt (didn’t even wave) and off into the distance at 65 mph. We look at each other and go, "Oh well, it was a good idea". On down the road we discover that no one is behind us and that if we can keep up the good pace, we will get first shot at a shower before the hot water is all gone. We don’t trust Jerry and Rolf. Well, that goes out the window as 2 miles from the campsite here comes the triple with Jerry and the girls blowing our socks off. Jim’s wife Laurie asks if we are OK and Jim makes some statement about Xxxxxxx! Xxxxxxx! and Xxxxxx! I didn’t catch the rest of it. I think Jerry got them to work hard to beat us back, them dirty dogs!

Did I Mention it was Raining!

Frozen like a rock and wetter than in the lake, we arrive at camp to find Moni and Marsha have a big fire going and a place to put our grime covered bikes out of the rain. Don’t know whether to get out of the wet stuff or stand in the fire. I made that hot shower. Jerry went to another restroom, but Jim had to wait on Rolf. Well, no hot stuff for him. I think Rolf sat in the shower in a lounge chair with the room heater going on full blast for 30 minutes. We will corner Rolf at the Fall Fling next weekend about that!

Did I Mention it was Raining!

Now its time for dinner. Jim’s wanting something to drink with his coffee. Laurie’s pouring who knows what in her -cup of coffee. Rolf’s needing more of that good wine. We try to burn up the coffee pot with no water in it. Jerry’s yelling at us about not getting any of the first round of coffee. Moni and Jana are making tea. I am still whining about the cold. Rolf’s girl friend, LaVerna, has never been around us and is looking at us like we lost our bricks and laughing at us. It takes 45 minutes to get the water hot enough to cook the spaghetti, but dinner is great, because IT STOPS RAINING!

OK, built a BIG FIRE, and we used up all the wood the gals rounded up. So off goes a search crew and they return with a whole tree already cut from another campsite. It’s a little wet and Jana starts blowing on the embers, like that will start a 4 inch round log. Rolf starts throwing in plastic cups (something about he likes the odor), and low and behold the wood finally starts. Well now, my wife tries to burn her shoes up. Moni bends her long hot dog cooking stick in the fire while turning logs over. I become an iron worker and reforge it in the fire and beat it straight. Rolf comes up with that wine. Jim goes to bed at 6:30 pm. Jerry sings a great chorus of "Hey There Little Red Riding Hood" after Rolf starts howling at something. Laurie keeps standing in front of everyone in chairs trying to warm up her rear at the fire. LaVerna just sits and looks amazed at the group of idiots and laughs as many of the day’s riding stories are reviewed.

Did I Mention it Had QUIT Raining!

Seems that, after 65 miles of riding, the triple gang came to the conclusion that Laurie could not coast when she felt like it without telling the others. Jerry told her she had to wave like the Queen of England, not flap her arm, because it made Jana feel like she was on the wagging tail of a dog and that 50mph down a big hill was not that bad. The big discovery was that Jerry was spinning at a lot higher cadence than normal and the girls wanted a slower one but thought that Jerry liked to spin fast, but none of them said anything till back at camp. Makes you wonder how they managed to stay upright the whole ride. I wanted to throw Jana in the lake, because every time they passed Jim and I she would have some comment along the lines of, "Can you keep up?"

Bedtime at last!

Oh, by the way, between 2:00 and 3:00am its starts Raining.

Sunday morning raises its big gray sky at 7:00am. Laurie’s happy--she hears me up starting the coffee and scrambles out of her tent. Seems as if she had been awake for some time and just laid in the tent dressed, not wanting to wake anyone, but waiting for someone else to get up. Note to Laurie: You are a big girl now--you may get up when you feel like it (next campout you can start the coffee). During the morning coffee we all decided to pedal our cars to breakfast.

Did I Mention it was Raining!

Ah, breakfast, then load all that wet stuff up. Sure took up a lot more room than when I made the trip down (did not realize how much junk you can take on a simple weekend bike/camping trip). Then figure out how to stuff the bike inside my car and drive home.

Did I mention it QUIT Raining when we loaded up!

See you at next year’s Tour De Trees so you to can be part of this brainless group of bike riders. Hey, ride fast, ride slow, who cares, just ride and live a longer healthier life.

Jim Bean

The Survivors
Left to right: Legs, Laurie, Jerry, Moni, Marsha, Jim, Jana, Rolf, LaVerna